Blog @ Canadian Geek

For those of you reading this column who aren’t regular comic buyers (unlikely, I know) and for those comic geeks who are trying to convert their many friends (again, unlikely, I know), here are a few conversations and phrases to avoid with your average, below average and even the above average comic retailer so you don’t get those glares we all hate to get from people smarter than us.

What not to say:
“Is this any good?”

Why you should not say it:
I need to make money so yes, of course it’s good. Commercial aspects aside, please remember that it’s art and all art is subjective. I’m not a fan of Mike Mignola’s art but I have customers who would happily kill me in defense of his work. Everything is good to someone which leads us to …

What not to say:
“Can you recommed something?”
“Of course. Do you have a preferance of heroes or non-heroes? Action, romance, horror or something else?”
“Oh, anything.”

Why you should not say it:
You don’t like everything. No one does. Grow a spine and tell the retailer where your interests lie. This will save you both a lot of time and the retailer a lot of frustration from showing things that you have no interest in. The more infromation you give, the easier it will be to put you on the right path to comicy goodness. If you’ve read something before and liked it, let ‘em know. If you read something and hated it, let ‘em know as well.

What not to say:
“Can you give me a discount?” or, “Can you knock off the GST?”

Why you should not say it:
First off, it’s just rude. In my day I was told to never ask for favours from someone you just met or didn’t know very well and that’s exactly what you are doing. You want me to do you the favour of saving you money which comes at my expense. Establish a relationship first, then we’ll talk. Also, this is a BUSINESS, all be it a comic business, it’s still a business and things are priced so that we can stay in operation. Wanting a discount affects our budget and how we operate.
The second statement is just annoying cause it’s so specific. If you don’t give me the GST, that means I have to pay it for you and that’s not very fair to make me pay your taxes.

What not to say:
“Does this shirt make me look fat?”

Why you should not say it:
I’m a smart ass and you won’t like the answer.

What not to say:
“Are you going to be having a sale anytime soon?”

Why you should not say it:
Retailers, generally, don’t announce sales too far in advance becasue they don’t want it to affect their regular sales leading up to the day. And yes, it does matter. A polite retailer may give an inside nudge to customers who may be making a big purchase just before they announce the sale but as a rule, a sale is designed to give an additional bump to sales. If there’s a drop before the sale, then everything just kinda balances out and with the effort that goes into preparing for a sale, there’s very likely going to be a loss if the drop if significant.

What not to say:
“I have a first edition comic.”

Why you should not say it:
Over 99% of all comics ever made are “first editions”. Second printings are rare, really rare. Saying this means, “I know this business,” when it actually shows that you don’t.

What not to say:
“I have comics from the (example: 1970s) still in their original bags.”

Why you should not say it:
Comics, individually, never came in “bags”, and when you say “bags” I know you’re implying that they are in clear plastic sleeves that you think are keeping them safe. A couple of tips; bags made before 1988 are not acid free which are ruining your comics AND Saran Wrap and Ziplocks do not qualify as comic bags.

What not to say:
“I have a Superman OR Batman OR Spider-Man #1.”

Why you should not say it:
Because you don’t. Okay, you might have Superman #1 from 1988 or Batman Legends of the Dark Knight #1 or Spider-Man #1 from 1990 but they aren’t worth much (dollar wise) and they had huge print runs (so everyone has them). It is not a bragable. See the “first edition” comment.

So, the Springer Moment here is choose your words carefully, phrase things as questions as opposed to statements of fact (”first editions”, original bags, #1’s, etc.) and give as much information as you can when looking for suggestions. If you want to avoid those glares like I said, which is next to impossible since ALL comic shop owners are pompus asses who look down on everyone who shows weakness in their Geek Froce, a little knowledge can go a long way. Take my advice and enjoy your next trip to the comic shop.

The Shepherd