I have a cold, or the flu, or something. My brain is rather mushy and my body isn’t that far behind. So I figured this week I’d post a trailer that is mush. Horrible. This trailer is just about everything that shouldn’t be done in a trailer.
HITMAN
First thing, I have never played the video game that the movie is based on. I do vaguely know what it’s about — I mean, it’s kind of obvious. It’s about a Hitman. Got that. But seeing as I know nothing about the game, the trailer should work extra hard to inform me, to draw me into the world of the movie .. and it fails MISERABLY.
I haven’t been this bored watching a trailer since Shindler’s List. 
The first half of the trailer features (and wow, do I ever use that word lightly) some of the worst exposition I could handle. Then when you figure they’ll actually get into the action, they play this slow operatic crap that does nothing to get your blood pumping like an action film should. And the scenes they show .. these days if you wanna do an action film, you gotta give us something that hasn’t been seen before.
This? I could barely contain the yawns.
VIEW THE HIGH DEFINITION VERSION HERE
(Or, y’know.. don’t. Because it’s that bad. I’m afraid your eyes will singe out.)